The Ultimate Guide to Choosing Flowers and Gifts for Every Wedding Anniversary

Every anniversary is worth being celebrated, and there are several milestone anniversaries that happen throughout the course of a marriage. It’s a great way to mark love, affection, and commitment throughout time. There’s a strong tradition of giving symbolic gifts for every anniversary. Usually, they’re made from a different material, gemstone, or even different flowers that align with each milestone.

Over the years, you’ll give countless gifts to your partner, but each anniversary milestone gift can be truly special if you think it through, ask yourself the right questions, and apply the symbolism of each milestone material. Here we’ll explore different traditions, milestones, and questions you should ask yourself before buying the perfect anniversary gift.

Anniversary Gift Traditions: A Quick Overview

There are two different lists for anniversary gift traditions. There’s a traditional list that dates all the way back to Victorian European customs, and there’s a more modern list that was updated in 1937 by the American National Retail Jewelers Association. These lists both track the attached symbolic meaning to different milestone years.

You’ve probably heard of the silver anniversary at 25 years or the golden anniversary at 50 years. In the U.S. and the U.K., this list grew to cover earlier years of the marriage as well, with themes like paper for the first year, cotton for the second, leather for the third, wood for the fifth, tin or aluminum for the tenth, crystal for the 15th, porcelain for the 20th, silver for the 25th, pearl for the 30th anniversary, ruby for the 40th, gold for the 50th, diamond for the 60th, and so on. It progresses from simple gifts like a love letter to more exquisite offerings like a pearl necklace, and all the way to some of the rarest and most durable items in the world.

The expanded modern list includes different themes for every year up to the 20th year, and then for every fifth year after. This list includes more contemporary options next to the classics, and it added pearls to the 12th year as well as the 30th. Check out this list of gift materials according to the modern list.

Why These Materials?

The materials on these lists intentionally scale with the relationship. They start out with simple, fragile, flexible materials, then move to more precious and enduring ones. Earlier years are symbolized by paper and cotton. These symbolize a story in progress and lives being woven together. By years three and five, firmer materials like leather and wood speak of resilience and rooted growth. Then there are more metallic themes like tin or aluminum at the tenth year. This is about flexibility and protection. Crystal at year 15 shows clarity. The porcelain gift at year 20 is about beauty, care, and careful attention. After that, the later milestones move toward precious, rare, and durable substances that reflect the rarity and durability of such a long marriage. For example, year 30 is marked by pearls, which reflects the very nature of the anniversary, because how are pearls made? They are formed layer by layer over time inside a living organism and under pressure; that development speaks to the nature of an enduring marriage.

Elevating Anniversary Gifts With Flowers

Flowers are a popular addition to any anniversary gift, and the language of flowers, or floriography, dating back to the Victorian era, can help amplify any message that you’re trying to send on your anniversary. Flowers help to strengthen your romantic anniversary messages.

There are many guides that assign an official flower to each year. For example, carnations for the first year, roses for the 15th, lilies for the 30th anniversary, and yellow roses with violets for the 50th. Each of these flowers uses color and meaning to send a message. For example, lilies are linked to humility and devotion, which is exactly the sentiment of a 30th anniversary gift. Plus, lilies look great with pearls, which are the material for the 30th anniversary gift. The white or cream blossoms amplify the iridescence and the color of whatever pearl you choose to give on the 30th anniversary.

Overall, you can use flowers—and your choice of flower type and color—to amplify the message that you’re trying to send with your anniversary gift. Try combining flowers and jewelry to bring the best of your intentions through your gift!

Seven Questions to Ask Yourself While Buying the Perfect Anniversary Gift

•  Does this gift reflect the meaning of the milestone year?

If you stick to the recommended materials, you’ll find connections between the best anniversary gifts and the way that you’re feeling in this milestone year. Highlight the positive aspects that each material brings out and accentuates in your marriage.

•  Is it something that my partner will treasure daily or on special occasions?

Make sure that the gift you’re getting is something that your partner will look at and smile about, something that they’ll use frequently, and something that brings them happiness when they use it. Avoid gifts that just fill a shelf or that do not improve the daily life of your partner in a meaningful or significant way. Instead, try to focus on things that your partner will be excited to use and will use frequently.

•  Can it be personalized to tell our story?

The best gifts are the ones chosen specifically for the recipient. Look for gifts that can be personalized or optimized for your love story and for the love of your life. This could include inscriptions on jewelry, personalized artwork, or presenting it in a way that is special and known only to the two of you.

•  Will it grow more meaningful over time?

Just like your marriage, the gifts that you give on your anniversary should last and should become more and more meaningful and beloved as time goes on. For this, you can opt for gifts that will be useful and durable, and as always, you can rely on the timeless traditional anniversary gifts as a starting point.

• Is there a balance of tradition and personal style?

Here you’re asking yourself if you’re going with the flow of the traditional materials and what’s been suggested to you, or if you’re actually considering the specific, personal style of your partner while you’re shopping for the gift. Not every material is going to be the go-to for every partner, which means you might have to think creatively when it comes to blending that component or that material with your partner’s personal style. You might consider something that they already use, wear, or love to have around and have it creatively built into that material. Or you might consider a performance or experience that incorporates this material in order to let them have more fun and let their personality shine through with the gift.

•  Can this gift become an heirloom?

The best kind of gift is one that your partner can keep forever and ever. You want a gift that you’ll be able to pass on for generations to come, so it’s important to aim for a high-quality gift. Think about things like the durability and sustainability of different materials that you’ll be using, and think about how classic or how timeless the designs you are getting tend to be. The more timeless the design, the longer it will last and the longer it can be treasured throughout generations to come.

•  Does this gift symbolize my feelings at this stage of our marriage?

Of course, the feelings and experiences in a long marriage wax and wane throughout the years. What matters is that your gift projects where you are in your marriage at that point, in terms of the number of years, as well as how you’re feeling and how you anticipate feeling with your partner for the years to come. You want to encapsulate the love, commitment, devotion, and faithfulness that you want your marriage to be defined by.

Main Takeaways

All in all, a thoughtful gift requires you to reflect on your spouse, your marriage, and the journey that has brought you to where you are today. A guide with different materials and different anniversary gifts is a great place to start, because each one has been thoughtfully curated to reflect where you are in your marriage every year. You can also add flowers to amplify the message.